Moana

Moana, Disney’s 3D animated feature, hit theaters November 14, 2016. Young Moana sets out to restore the heart of Te Fiti after the demigod Maui steals it. With the live-action remake coming up, we went back to a film nearly ten years old. Damn. I feel old.

The story opens on Motunui. From childhood, Moana feels the call of the open sea. As the chief’s daughter, she is supposed to stay and lead. She tries the reef anyway and fails, until her grandmother reveals their people were once voyagers who stopped after a spreading darkness swallowed ships. That darkness has reached the island: fish gone, crops dying, all from Maui taking Te Fiti’s heart. Moana wants the village to sail and return it; her father says no. On her grandmother’s deathbed she gets the push and goes alone to find Maui. After some boat trouble she reaches the island where Maui (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is stuck. He joins, grudgingly, if they recover his magic hook first. Along the way: sentient coconuts, a shiny crab, lava monster Te Kā, and putting the heart back.

Moana is not a bad movie. It is a kids’ movie. Made for kids, specifically little girls. With that in mind, it does what it sets out to do: animated musical ocean adventure, animal sidekick, misunderstood deuteragonist, weird villain song. Animation is polished. Some songs catch. Vocal performances work. Not for babies. For kids. The plot is pretty predictable and sits cleanly in the hero’s journey.

Moana is not perfect. She needs Maui often, including sailing lessons. First run at Te Kā nearly gets them both killed. Near the end her grandmother reassures her, but the skills that get her through are ones she earned on the trip. Maui is fine. People in 2016 thought The Rock was bad here. I do not. You can hear it is Dwayne Johnson. Not distracting enough to rob the character. I saw Maui, not just The Rock. Something I doubt the live-action version gets away with.

I do not have much negative to say. I just do not really care for it. Not a pompous “I’m above juvenile media” bit. Not my thing. Not the target demographic, and that is fine. If I had been a kid in 2016, maybe nostalgia would stick. It does not. Not the movie’s fault. In the wider Disney animated catalog, Moana is kind of weak: forgettable in my head. Nothing screams you have to see this. I get that it and the sequel made stupid money. Still run-of-the-mill animated kids fare.

Most I can sincerely add: of Disney movies from the last decade, this world would work as a Kingdom Hearts stage. The plot is returning Te Fiti’s heart. She is technically a Heartless.

Animated Moana gets 7.5 out of 10. Good to put on with the kiddos. Odd to put on alone as an adult.